Sharing Beyond Caring: Ex's, the Child, and the BS.

When two people have a child together and the relationship fails, is it still the father of the child's responsibility to provide a stable living environment for his ex b/c his kid lives with her? I feel these type of situations open the door for men to be exploited financially and emotionally. The man's responsibility should be a healthy contribution towards feeding, clothing, and sheltering his child. I feel that anything beyond that benefits the undeserving partner. Too many times have I've seen women use opportunities like such to feed their materialistic, and most of the time, self desires. Same thing goes for men on the opposite side of the table. It's a real thin line between caring enough to help support the contributing parent of your child and just straight being used. Be careful of who you sleep and share DNA with. Children aren't gambling chips to be used in the game of love. Plan for parenthood. Don't believe the hype of "I want to have your baby," or "Girl lets make a baby." Words don't equal the action of taking care of a living, breathing responsibility that has feelings, emotions, learns, and soaks in everything he/she sees and hears from the experience of a relationship gone sour. I guess when dealing with complicated circumstances we have to learn to honestly respect other parties involved without letting our personal feelings toward the other party, whether good or bad, influence the atmosphere we create for making decisions of provision. Remember that baggage definitely sways our thinking, and there's no hell like a woman scorned. Until next time. One love, one heart. -B.B.

Once Upon A Time

Remember back in the day when falling for someone was simple? Boy meets girl, girl meets boy, boy and girl fall head over heels for each other. Today it feels like we've lost the innocence of simply falling! We're so concerned about protecting ourselves or choosing the perfect partner. Once upon a time we were fearless. We were innocent. We didn't consider others based on material value. We valued others just imply because. I remember when "game" was you're pretty and like you, or would you by my girl; circle yes or no. Do you remember when a dandy lion was like a tulip, rose, or a lily, when ring pops were like diamond rings, or how hand written letters were the most thoughtful kind of gift to a girl. I guess my point is I remember how much the little things of love actually counted, and how cherished they mad us all feel. I know we've grown since then. Real life has set in for many of us. However, I just want us to remember once upon a time! It's just a thought, but maybe if we find our innocence again we can actually discover true love! Think about it. Until next time. One love, one heart. -B.B.

All the Single Ladies, Your Last First Date

 At some point in your life a time will come when you will make a personal decision to begin looking for more, more than you've experienced before. As little girls women dream of their marriage, wearing the whit dress, and the ceremony with all the trimmings. However, what I've notices is that women lose sight of that dream somewhere between senior year in high school and their mid twenties. Then after it is all said and done, most hit a turning point finding themselves single and trying to put the pieces of the dream back together again. Today I want to tell the single lady it's time you have your last first date. True, finding someone seems harder said than done, but it begins with you. It begins with letting go of past hurts, mistakes, insecurities, stereotypes about the opposite sex, and anything else deterring you from your dream. A beautiful woman once explained to me that she learned what she wanted by discovering what she didn't want. Today reflect on your past so that you may discover a better future. Learn the things you don't want and need in your life so that when the time comes your next date can be your last first date! Until next time. One love, one heart. -B.B.

There's No Such Thing As A 5 Cent Dime: The Decision to Love

I heard a saying that compared people to a two sided coin. The saying explained that like a two sided coin people have sides, a good side, a bad side, a future, and a past. When we choose to love someone we have to accept both sides of who they are because accepting one side only, doesn't represent the full value of the individual. How can you have a 5 cent dime? How can you appreciate your significant other's strengths without knowing their weaknesses? How can you relate to who they are now without understanding their past struggles? How can you celebrate the success of their future without knowing the path traveled to get there and the obstacles overcame to succeed? How can you value a 5 cent dime? To love is a decision. It's a decision that takes us on a journey full of surprises. Preparing for the journey first starts with understanding the terrain you're traveling and valuing its features for what they're worth. Today I want readers to prepare for love's journey by first choosing to love someone completely instead of with a half hearted appreciation. Remember that people are not tools to use at your convenience to fix problems in your life, and their lives aren't toys to be played with and packed away when you're finished having a good time. Be respectful and value people for who they are instead of creating their value by giving them a worth. There's no such thing as a 5 cent dime. Until next time. -B.B.