Nice Guys Finish Last, Good Girls Go Bad

Have you ever wondered why good guys finish last? I recently read that it's because they are so agreeable, too polite, and a bit of a pushover. However, the real reason may be because they are overly caring. It's true that all women require tender love and care, but like anything else it needs to delivered in portions. Why? Because too much candy will rot the teeth, and hugging a puppy too tight will crush its ribs. Contrary to popular belief, good men don't finish last because they are weak or soft. They finish last because their love is extremely raw and unfiltered, and like with anything else, too much of it at once is detrimental.My advice for the good guys is to pace yourself in love by giving a woman time to miss you, allow her to value a compliment before giving her another, be chivalrous while allowing her to be independent, and most of all, allow her to know that she is not the only prize to be won, that you are as well. Do this and I promise that you'll not only be keeping up in the race of love, but you just might cross the finish line first.

Men just remember that finishing first is not the goal, finding a real connection is. In fact what I love most about the saying "good guys finish last" is that it portrays the strength and endurance a good man has in love. Good girls on the other hand sometimes don't ever cross the finish line at all. Not too often you'll catch them dropping the baton and becoming a cheer leader for the other team. Maybe that's the correlation between the two sayings. If good women go bad can a good man really finish first??? What an interesting concept. I want women to realize today that a good guy isn't a bad thing, nor is heartbreak reason for you to give up on your true identity. The goodness of who you are is what all men value in women, the jerks included. Think about it. The bad boy likes that his girl is devoted, takes care of his needs and wants, seeks to please him even when she's hurt, feeling neglected, and more. A good woman stays by a bad boy's side even with cause not to. And what does he call her? He calls her a ride or die chick. The word chick is short for chickling or a baby chicken who is reliant. A chick has no choice but to ride because if it does not it will die. Good women you're more than that! Wake up and recognize that hurt is temporary, and love is eternal. Grab you baton, dust yourself off, and get back in the race, because at the end of the day what is a good man without a good a good woman?! Until next time. One love, one heart. -B.B.

Please Don't Judge Me & Let it be Beautiful: Chris Brown

 

Today's topic is on journeying through the grimy heartache, pain, and confusion of our past to reach a beautiful future in love. The video above depicts the international superstar Chris Brown as an air-force pilot sacrificing himself for the greater good for the one he loves. In love sometimes it is necessary to commit suicide; suicide of who we once were, suicide of barriers we put up to protect ourselves, suicide of how we present ourselves to others. Sometimes it takes placing our heart on the front line and having faith in creating a beautiful future. Today try being a soldier of love. Travel through your own trench of brokeness by setting aside judgements and pre-conceived notions to create a future of love. Like Chris Brown said, "Please don't judge me and I won't judge you, and if you love me let it be beautiful!" Take flight today by leaving your or someone's past in the past. Sacrifice the decision to hold on to judgment to save your future in love. Until next time. One love, one heart. -B.B.

Sharing Beyond Caring: Ex's, the Child, and the BS.

When two people have a child together and the relationship fails, is it still the father of the child's responsibility to provide a stable living environment for his ex b/c his kid lives with her? I feel these type of situations open the door for men to be exploited financially and emotionally. The man's responsibility should be a healthy contribution towards feeding, clothing, and sheltering his child. I feel that anything beyond that benefits the undeserving partner. Too many times have I've seen women use opportunities like such to feed their materialistic, and most of the time, self desires. Same thing goes for men on the opposite side of the table. It's a real thin line between caring enough to help support the contributing parent of your child and just straight being used. Be careful of who you sleep and share DNA with. Children aren't gambling chips to be used in the game of love. Plan for parenthood. Don't believe the hype of "I want to have your baby," or "Girl lets make a baby." Words don't equal the action of taking care of a living, breathing responsibility that has feelings, emotions, learns, and soaks in everything he/she sees and hears from the experience of a relationship gone sour. I guess when dealing with complicated circumstances we have to learn to honestly respect other parties involved without letting our personal feelings toward the other party, whether good or bad, influence the atmosphere we create for making decisions of provision. Remember that baggage definitely sways our thinking, and there's no hell like a woman scorned. Until next time. One love, one heart. -B.B.

Once Upon A Time

Remember back in the day when falling for someone was simple? Boy meets girl, girl meets boy, boy and girl fall head over heels for each other. Today it feels like we've lost the innocence of simply falling! We're so concerned about protecting ourselves or choosing the perfect partner. Once upon a time we were fearless. We were innocent. We didn't consider others based on material value. We valued others just imply because. I remember when "game" was you're pretty and like you, or would you by my girl; circle yes or no. Do you remember when a dandy lion was like a tulip, rose, or a lily, when ring pops were like diamond rings, or how hand written letters were the most thoughtful kind of gift to a girl. I guess my point is I remember how much the little things of love actually counted, and how cherished they mad us all feel. I know we've grown since then. Real life has set in for many of us. However, I just want us to remember once upon a time! It's just a thought, but maybe if we find our innocence again we can actually discover true love! Think about it. Until next time. One love, one heart. -B.B.

All the Single Ladies, Your Last First Date

 At some point in your life a time will come when you will make a personal decision to begin looking for more, more than you've experienced before. As little girls women dream of their marriage, wearing the whit dress, and the ceremony with all the trimmings. However, what I've notices is that women lose sight of that dream somewhere between senior year in high school and their mid twenties. Then after it is all said and done, most hit a turning point finding themselves single and trying to put the pieces of the dream back together again. Today I want to tell the single lady it's time you have your last first date. True, finding someone seems harder said than done, but it begins with you. It begins with letting go of past hurts, mistakes, insecurities, stereotypes about the opposite sex, and anything else deterring you from your dream. A beautiful woman once explained to me that she learned what she wanted by discovering what she didn't want. Today reflect on your past so that you may discover a better future. Learn the things you don't want and need in your life so that when the time comes your next date can be your last first date! Until next time. One love, one heart. -B.B.

There's No Such Thing As A 5 Cent Dime: The Decision to Love

I heard a saying that compared people to a two sided coin. The saying explained that like a two sided coin people have sides, a good side, a bad side, a future, and a past. When we choose to love someone we have to accept both sides of who they are because accepting one side only, doesn't represent the full value of the individual. How can you have a 5 cent dime? How can you appreciate your significant other's strengths without knowing their weaknesses? How can you relate to who they are now without understanding their past struggles? How can you celebrate the success of their future without knowing the path traveled to get there and the obstacles overcame to succeed? How can you value a 5 cent dime? To love is a decision. It's a decision that takes us on a journey full of surprises. Preparing for the journey first starts with understanding the terrain you're traveling and valuing its features for what they're worth. Today I want readers to prepare for love's journey by first choosing to love someone completely instead of with a half hearted appreciation. Remember that people are not tools to use at your convenience to fix problems in your life, and their lives aren't toys to be played with and packed away when you're finished having a good time. Be respectful and value people for who they are instead of creating their value by giving them a worth. There's no such thing as a 5 cent dime. Until next time. -B.B.

Prepare to be Unprepared

A lot of the time love does not happen on our terms. It does not meet our perfectly planned out blueprint of when, how, or even with who. As a result, we as people tend  to become stubborn towards love causing us to keep a closed mind as to what love is or can be. We define and characterize love without truly knowing its full potential. Our blueprint of who, how, and when may not be the blueprint love has for us. Therefore today I encourage readers to keep an open mind towards embracing getting to know someone that may not be your ideal "blueprint." He or she may not be your downtown suite overlooking the lake, but they may just be something better... a mansion on a hill. Until next time. One love, one heart. -B.B.